Slow your load, there, sailor! Don’t worry – we’ll teach you how.
As far as the World Wide Web is concerned, premature ejaculation (PE) is a difficult condition to define. Some reputable sources describe premature ejaculation as ejaculation that occurs sooner than the jizzer would prefer, while other (no less reputable) sources suggest it’s a particular time frame (generally within 1-3 minutes of penetration) that denotes whether PE is truly present in a peen. But for those whose confidence or sex lives suffer due to over-eager semen, the technical difference (if there is one) between cumming sooner than you’d like and premature ejaculation likely matters not; you’re here to solve a prob, Bob. Which is a good thing ‘cause we’re more interested in helping you pump up your pleasure than debating semantics, anyhow.
Pill-free PE solutions tend to fall under two umbrellas: preventative methods to pursue regularly and stuff to do mid-boink (or relatively soon before said boink).
P.E. Preventative Measures
Self-care rituals can prep your bod for lengthier lovemaking sessions.
Work That Pelvic Floor
Contrary to popular belief, Kegel exercises are not just for vagina owners! In fact, pelvic floor workouts have been found effective in treating symptoms of both premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction. To reap those benefits and keep your sexual health on track, perform the following steps thrice daily:
- Tighten your pelvic floor muscles (the same ones you use to stop pissing midstream) and hold for 3 seconds.
- Release your hold and relax your pelvic floor muscles for 3 seconds.
- Repeat 9 more times for a total of 10 reps.
Even if regularly performing Kegels doesn’t delay your orgasm’s ETA, you’ll still reap the benefits of having a stronger pelvic floor, which helps improve bladder and bowel control. That’s not even a consolation prize – it’s a prize in and of itself!
Be Your Own Personal Trainer
No, we’re not suggesting you blow your paycheque on a fancy at-home gym – we’re talkin’ ‘bout sexual stamina training! Regarding sex, stamina training is the practice of using masturbation to learn valuable information about your responses to stimulation. More specifically, stamina training can teach you to recognize the signals your body gives you that indicate you’re about to reach climax so that when you experience them during sex, you’ll know to take action STAT. Through stamina training, you can also learn what speeds, stroke styles, and positions are more or less stimulating, which you can utilize during partnered sex by switching to less stimulating ones when you sense your orgasm is nearing too soon.
One stamina training technique you can try out is the “9-to-5,” which categorizes arousal on a scale of 1-10, with 0 being completely unaroused and 10 being the point of climax:
- Stimulate yourself until your arousal reaches 9/10. Before you reach the point of orgasm, bring your arousal level back to a 5 by decreasing stimulation intensity. If you’re unable to stop yourself from cumming at level 9, aim for the next-highest arousal level you’re able to reach and come down from.
- Build arousal back up to level 9 (or whichever highest level you were able to reach), then back down to a 5 again. Repeat this process for 20 minutes, doing so a few times per week.
When choosing a sex toy for stamina training, it’s best to opt for one with a sleeve interior that’s texturally similar to the type of hole you aim to last longer inside – that way, you’ll be most prepared for the real deal when the time cums.
Another potential perk to using masturbation as a stamina training tactic is that many find the more frequently and intensely they pursue sexual stimulation, the more intense stimulation their body actually requires to get off. This is because the body gets used to stimulation over time, meaning it could need increasingly stronger stimulation to receive the same amount of pleasure it once did from lesser stimulation. No need to worry about permanently changing your pleasure receptors, though; they should return to their base level if you ease off for a while.
In-the-Moment Orgasm Delay Tactics
Adjust your approach in the sack, and you might stay there longer!
Decrease Sensation
If your swimmers only channel Michael Phelps when introduced to especially inviting waters (I’m talkin’ ‘bout wet, warm holes, ya dig?), investing in a bulky, full-coverage swimsuit might let you get in a few more breaststrokes before reaching the end of the pool. Translation sans poetic wax: dressing your penis in a thick barrier will lessen climax-inducing pleasure, potentially letting you enjoy the ride for longer.
One option is to go for extra-thick condoms instead of the ultra-thin ones that seemingly dominate the condom marketplace. Most thick condoms are manufactured that way for one of two purposes: more peace of mind regarding STI protection and contraception or to help penis owners last longer in bed. Though you should always be diligent in condom ingredient research, we advise you to be particularly cautious when purchasing condoms marketed as PE solutions since they’re more likely to be lubricated with some form of “delay spray,” and the jury is out on exactly how safe that is for prolonged usage.
Another way to put a few (or a lot!) more inches between you and your boo’s hole is by wearing cock sheaths or penis extenders. Available in a wide range of styles, girths, and lengths, penis sleeves can reduce stimulating friction for the wearer while actually increasing sensations for the receiver! Talk about a double whammy.
Pause Stimulation
One way to pump the brakes so you don’t reach ejaculation station before a desirable arrival time is to stop whatever actions are fast-tracking your climax and switch gears to focus solely on pleasuring your partner for a while. This could be through oral sex, manual stimulation, or using sex toys on them – whatever’s clever. As long as the detour only physically involves their pleasure (read: doesn’t physically stimulate you any further), your heightened state of arousal should diminish. Once you feel you’ve cooled down enough, you can resume enjoying mutual sex acts. You can repeat this process (a form of edging) as many times as you’d like (or as many as your body will allow) for lengthier sex sessions.
If you find it difficult to stop your body from seeking that O when you’re so close to it, it may be helpful to choose positions where your partner is on top so they can pause the action before you blast off. Just make sure to communicate when you’re nearing the point of no return; you’re not screwing a mind reader! (Unless you’re screwing a literal mind reader).
Book an Opening Act
For some penis owners, orgasming before partnered play (which could be a few hours or a few minutes, depending on individual sexual response cycles) can make their second orgasm (assuming there is one) take longer to arrive. Enacting this potentially stamina-boosting strategy efficiently requires an understanding of your refractory period and arousal patterns, which you can familiarize yourself with through masturbation and reflection. The refractory period is the timeframe in which your body “recovers” from orgasm, and you won’t be able to orgasm again during this time. Those with longer refractory periods may find reaching climax once prior to sex helps them last longer during subsequent partnered action, whereas people with short refractory periods are unlikely to gain from this tactic.
You’ll want to consider your general levels of desire and ability to obtain an erection post-orgasm, which can vary greatly between individuals during the refractory period, when determining whether a pre-show O may benefit you. It’s not uncommon for penis owners to feel entirely sexually satiated (AKA not in the mood for more S-E-X) throughout the refractory period; if this rings true for you, it’ll likely render the practice of getting yours before later getting yours again moot for the purposes of prolonging partnered passion. Some may also have trouble obtaining an erection during this time, which would also make this method a no-go.
BUT, if your refractory period doesn’t come with a side of soft cock and low libido, getting off before getting it in could work wonders for your stamina! Those with longer refractory periods might try masturbating a couple of hours before they expect to get down with someone else, while people with short refractory periods may opt to bring their boo into the mix by cumming during foreplay so they can then enjoy more play! Like we said, understanding your body’s sexual response cycle is key.
The Fun Doesn’t Have to Stop Once You Pop
There’s an unfortunate misconception that a penis owner’s orgasm always means the end of sex. Not only is that false, but the notion is ripe with heteronormative and misogynistic undertones (which nobody wants in their sex lives or lives at all!) So, if you and your boo still have the desire after you’ve reached your peak, keep the party going!
There are myriad ways to get it on that don’t involve a hard cock. From oral to hand sex to toy time, there’s far more available on the sexual menu than P-in-V (or A or M). If your partner is still craving penis-like penetration, grab a dildo or don a hollow strap-on!
That doesn’t mean that your post-O passion has to be all about them and not at all about you, though; a lack of an erection doesn’t translate to a lack of pleasure opportunities for penis owners. Flaccid dongs can also respond positively to stimulation, and you’ve got a bunch of other erogenous zones to work with, too!
When in Doubt, See a Doc
If your premature ejaculation struggles came about suddenly (no pun intended) and persistently or none of the above tips are helpful, it’s best to get things checked out by a medical professional. A doctor may be able to find the root of the problem and treat that or provide additional tactics for mitigating your low sexual stamina. And should they wind up prescribing you medication for PE, remember that there’s absolutely no shame in that! It’s not the method of alleviating premature ejaculation that matters in the end, but that you (and your sex life) are happy and healthy.
